It's not me... It's you...

So I know that it's really cruel to do this over the internet, but I am breaking up with you. I just feel like you aren't even there sometimes while I am talking. Maybe we'll meet again someday.


Seriously, the last straw was when our mascot was so embarrassed by our sad blob that he grew his hair out in an attempt to look like a different blob's mascot.

Eccentric Lazyland...

I know I'm weird.
I know you're weird.
There isn't a member of this family who isn't weird.
Here's your proof.
You have Welder blood or you CHOSE to marry a Welder.
I won't ask for a show hands, you know who you are.
I also won't ask which is more weird, that could open up some kind of quantum vortex.
What I will ask is:
What is one weird thing about you that we probably don't know? For those of you who are much to busty to participate, one sentence will do. You don't have to explain your weirdness. Just put it out there. I guess you can explain if you want to though...

Two things in the life of Elisa:

1. I took the GRE in English Literature today. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone who doesn't want their brain to feel like the gruel Oliver Twist requested a second helping of. Two-hundred and thirty questions, many of which weren't in modern English (we're expected to know Old and Middle English as well, the latter of which is slightly recognizable, the former not so much), which of course irritated me because my speciality is American Lit., none of which was written in anything but modern English. Well. Hawthorne and Melville might be exceptions, but they suck and therefore don't count.

2. After the GRE the roommate and I decided to lay out for three hours. We applied sunscreen (SPF 8, the highest number recognized by any female under the age of twenty-five; we seriously contemplated baby oil but couldn't find any) and proceeded to fall asleep in twenty minute increments (allowing for flip-time, of course). I already had a base tan so I thought, stupidly, that I would be fine. WRONG. My chest, back, lower stomach, and upper thighs (read: "butt") are all horrendously burnt. Do I care? Nope. I'll put on aloe vera to prevent peeling and relish in the joys of having an awesome tan in April. As the comedian Daniel Tosh says, "There's no depth to my shallowness."

Coopins

Anybody cut coupons? If you don't you should, especially if your grocery store or super-center doubles or triples coupons. I am just learning how to do this effectively. I use Sunday newspaper coupons and Internet coupons.

I just got back from the grocery store and I got $180 worth of groceries for $108. My store has a 20 coupon limit so I cherry-pick my coupons to buy only things I need. It does take time to get a system, I'm learning. I think the best way to do this may be to get the stores weekly specials sheet and see if I have a coupon for whats already on sale. This trip I got several things for free or for like 9 cents.

Also, I should mention that I have to go to the grocery store at like 5am because it takes a little extra time to shop this way and I have to be home by 7am. It may be that lots of you don't have the time to do this, but if you do you should give it a try... I had to do something because groceries eat 25% of our pay (that is not an exagerration, it's unfortunately and outrageously true.)

BATTLE BATTLE! ...or...Soy un perdedor

I just lost a 2.5 hour battle of wills with an almost-two year old. I have a migraine. She has a blanky. I have yet to get her to eat one bite of food all day or anything to drink since D...we... gave her "Hot Chocky" before breakfast. I finally gave her the blanky anyway because I was starting to visualize violent scenarios. At least she naps well...

say what?

As you may or may not know, the New Yorker has in every issue a caption contest which invites readers to write their own captions for a cartoon. A winner is selected, fanfares are sounded, etc. Because I'm a dirty thief I've decided to steal this idea. I'll try to do it once a week if there seems to be any interest.

Try this one on for size:

Come on people now...

I KNOW you have something to say. You have a day you want to tell us about. Something you heard, maybe? A jerk to rant about. Please post about something! Where's the weekly ranch update Foreman?

I am worried that the combination of "not enough time" and "I don't have anything interesting to say" is conspiring to keep people from posting. I have chronic foot-in-mouth disease, so help me out by posting. Every post you make saves me the embarassment of posting nonsense.

XOXOOXO