When I grow up can I have a dog of my own? Since I am nearing 30 and not yet grown, I cannot help but wonder when I will be an adult. Here are some things going on with me lately. Please let me know whats wrong with me if you figure it out.
- I want a Puppy
- People repeatedly call our house for my husband and ask, "Is your father home?," or "I was calling for your dad."
- My Dad (D) has been telling me that "When you grow up you will have morals." (my personal favorite)
- I have developed a severe aversion to driving anywhere, especially with my kids.
Apparently I am an immoral child and there is no saving me.
A bad seed.
I might as well go with it.
Bring on the hookers and smack.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Okay, I'll jump into this one.
ReplyDelete- I want a Puppy.
If you have a fenced yard, go for it. Get a pound puppy, not too old, of a breed that mixes well with chilluns. DO NOT GET A PIT BULL. Get a young one that will grow with the kids. Lab mixes are good.
- People repeatedly call our house for my husband and ask, "Is your father home?," or "I was calling for your dad."
Run with this. You can have lots of fun by starting inane conversations. Don't forget the classic "Mommy and the UPS guy are trying on clothes."
- My Dad (D) has been telling me that "When you grow up you will have morals." (my personal favorite)
I'll skip this one, thanks. Too many questions come to mind. For both you and "Fearless".
- I have developed a severe aversion to driving anywhere, especially with my kids.
I don't blame you. Most drivers are idiots. Just don't go all Roseanne Barr on us. You have to get out and interact with other adults, even if it is at the grocery store.
Apparently I am an immoral child and there is no saving me.
A bad seed.
I might as well go with it.
Just WTF do you think the rest of us have been doing all our lives? Don't take your self too dams seriously.
Hang in there. Kids are worth it after awhile. Ask DarthMom. Or maybe not.
Just remember, you have to convince them when they are very young that you might snap one day and kill them. Once that is established, all you have to do is make your "I'm going to snap face" and they will be good.
Strangers will compliment you on how well behaved they are while you children look on with some unease.
Sorry.
ReplyDeletedams=damned
All good advice, but does all that spell a NO to the hookers and smack? Come on man, don't take away my rainbow.
ReplyDeleteLMAO- The "I'm gonna snap face" I think I already learned that one by accident.
What if I Sammy Jacksoned them and said "I'm a mushroom-cloud-laying Motherf***er Motherf***er!"
"Hang in there. Kids are worth it after awhile. Ask DarthMom. Or maybe not."
ReplyDeleteHEY. If this is to imply that I'm not the most amazingly awesome person to have walked the face of the planet, I take offense, sir. I was born cool and no dog-yard journalist can tell me otherwise.
...I stole that from someone. I just can't remember who.
Get a beagle! Beagles are awesome, and super cute, and really good with kids (we got one when I was six).
Morals, I have found, are vastly overrated, and those who claim to have them are usually just as immoral as the rest of us, only they have honesty issues (this is NOT a stab at your dad, just a general rant).
Par don eh mwa, but YOUR beagle was awesome. We had a beagle when I was young and all he thought about was "you know what." He could jump a six foot fence and dig a six foot hole and all he did was run away until my Dad (T) stopped picking him up from the pound. I love beagles, but I don't think Daniel would survive one.
ReplyDeleteI want a Puppy
ReplyDelete~ Don't EVEN. They are a pain in the ass, and you already have two babies. Enough is enough.
- People repeatedly call our house for my husband and ask, "Is your father home?," or "I was calling for your dad."
~Hey! This is a compliment. It means you sound really young. The older you get, the more you'll love it.
- My Dad (D) has been telling me that "When you grow up you will have morals." (my personal favorite)
~This is what happens when we wild children grow up and think we have the right to tell our children to NOT do what we always did.
- I have developed a severe aversion to driving anywhere, especially with my kids.
~That's called being responsible. I didn't drive with Elisa in the car until she was about 10 months old. You have to get over it, but don't feel bad about it. I'm 50 years old and still have a severe aversion to driving.
Apparently I am an immoral child and there is no saving me.
A bad seed.
I might as well go with it.
Bring on the hookers and smack.
~Oh, Sarah. You're crackin' me up here. I'm a bad seed, too. Have fun with it.
Elisa is delusional. She was NOT born cool. I simply gave birth to a small adult. She only got cool under my training.
Do you guys still play scrabble? I love scrabble, but Daniel rarely plays with me anymore, because he says I take it too "seriously." As if that's possible.
ReplyDeleteNope. I've never played Scrabble in my life. Dad's a sore loser and an even worse winner (he gloats) and apparently fights have broken out between various members of the family over what does and does not constitute a real word. The main story I've heard is the one about the fight between Grandpa and your mom about the word "bra". I'd side with her, personally.
ReplyDeleteMust be a Welder thing. I can't stand to play Scrabble, because they ALL take it too seriously. No fun at all. Elisa is right; you never, never want to play with Pat. We had a vicious fight one night in Dayton while playing with Suzanne and somebody else. I haven't played since and never will again.
ReplyDelete