okay, now, wait a second.

The scoop: There's a guy in my dorm who proposes to me on a daily basis...or at least he used to, until I finally agreed to be engaged to him indefinitely (this is a joke. I repeat, this is a joke. Elisa Welder is NOT getting married any time soon). Here's the thing, though- I told him that one of my requirements is a diamond the size of Zaire, which is of course a product of the genetic predisposition to exaggeration I inherited from my dear father. He (the proposal guy) took it seriously and now says that he's in training to become a world-class diamond thief, since there are no diamonds the size of Zaire and he'll obviously just have to steal enough diamonds to make Zaire. I also told him a bit about the family and he's volunteered to take the last name Welder.

However, he's already been vetoed by DarthMom on the basis of his being a "pink-haired diamond thief" (the hair, in his defense, is a mohawk and is coming off at the end of the week). Mother, what do you mean by this ridiculous hair-ism? If we shunned people from the Welder family based solely on the color of their hair and NOT by the content of their character, Sarah would have been ousted a long time ago. ;)