...but somehow I think that's okay in this crowd.
I was flipping through my copy of King Lear the other day and stumbled upon this gem:
Oswald: What dost thou know me for?
Kent:A knave, a rascal, an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch; one whom I will beat into clamorous whining if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition.
Best Shakespearian insult? Perhaps.
What are some of your favorite insults? These can't be ones you thought of off the top of your head (we Welders are far too adept at such things), but must be from books, movies, plays, songs, etc. More Shakespeare is always welcome, as far as I'm concerned.
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My favorite is actually a comeback to an insult and is soooo bad I couldn't post it here. I tried but I just could do it. I'll cop-out and post this one...
ReplyDeleteI fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/shake_rule.html
ReplyDeleteHe will not have a good death.
ReplyDeleteHe will be reborn as a flea on a dog's anus.
/paraphrased from Bangkok Eight (or maybe Bangkok Tattoo).
//Both excellent reads with a round eye view into Buddhism.
Also a Buddhist curse: May you live in interesting times.
"I have tried lately to read Shakespeare, and found it so intolerably dull that it nauseated me." ~ Charles Darwin
ReplyDeleteMy personal favorite:
"Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to." ~ Mark Twain
"Well if it isn't fat stinking billygoat billyboy. How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip-oil? Come get some in the yarbles, if you have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly thou!"
ReplyDelete- A Clockwork Orange
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
ReplyDelete-William Faulkner, about Ernest Hemingway
"I have read your book and much like it."
-Moses Hadas
Using a quote by Darwin to call someone boring is a bit contradictory, Mom.
I don't care, I agree with Darwin on this one.
ReplyDeleteThe answer to the riddle is asteroid, I think.
I'm not cheating. I used to participate on several online discussion boards, and I was in charge of brainteaser/riddle forums, so I've seen quite a few ofthese.
Darth Mom,
ReplyDeleteI would sooner believe I was a finalist on America's Next Top Model than think you cheated on a riddle. (*loud whispering and pointing* BUT I'M NOT SO SURE ABOUT CANDACE)
P.S. Online discussion boards are great places to meet future spouses!
I'm still not sure how to post the answer to the riddle the way you said, but all I can think of for today's riddle is penis. I feel pretty sure that's not right, though!
ReplyDeleteI didn't know that's how you met Daniel!
We met on a Dark Tower Book Club Forum. Romantic ain't it?
ReplyDeleteIf you are signed in to the blog there should be a little screwdriver symbol at the bottom right corner of the Riddle section. Just click to edit, I think! I just wish I could figure out how to allow pictures in the comments.
Not a penis, but if you know any good penis riddles you should definitely post them.
What I just said isn't going to work because I didn't realize that you aren't an author. I will resend your invite right now. I want everyone to be an Author so you can edit and make new posts. I can't wait to have my first Darth Mom post; no pressure.
ReplyDeleteGreat minds reside in the gutter.
ReplyDeleteGreat minds walk where others fear to tread...like in poo. Can I be part of that crew? there's no telling what I might do.
ReplyDelete(lay by the bay and eat some hay, I just may!)